You are amazing.

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Don't misunderstood my kindness, I just realized its too stupid to stay being wrathful. I want to enjoy my life. But if you keep trashing me out, I can also kick your ass and get you out of my life.

I'm already doing great in my "think positive" principle. I can love who I hated before, but if you don't want it in return, then just tell it straight to my face than being bitchy over my new attitude.

I want to lead a(n) simple/amazing life with my one and only baby and also with those who I consider true friends. If you know you don't intend to be one of my friends. Then GET COMPLETELY OUT OF MY LIFE. Erase me on your fb, ym or whatever. I'd be happy to accept your stupidity. =)

Simplest way to show I care.

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I love you

How and what they think makes them who they are. Not who I am.

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"Reconciliation does not mean we submit ourselves to abuse and the cruelty and lack of response to others. Even Jesus told His disciples to avoid certain people." (Mathews 10:14)

Right now I don't mind if they don't care about me anymore. It won't hurt me as much as how it did before. If they blame me for their misery, I won't retaliate about it. But it wouldn't mean I would submit to their biddings and conditions.

Also, I would acknowledge the fact that, even though I deny so much, I still have this feeling of being 'concern' to them. It would be stupid for me if I said. "I won't care because they don't anyway"  because I know that I still do.

I'm not a bad person. Even if they say I do because I chose my happiness, ending up looking like a selfish brat as well, I don't care. At all. I'll let them.

How they think makes them who they are. Not who I am anyway. 

No more hard feelings.

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"Self is the only prison that can ever bind the soul." -Henry Van Dyke

Okay, so no more bad feelings. Feel happy. Stay happy. Be happy.

If others hate me. I don't give a damn anymore. Because right now, I don't want those kinds of feelings no more. It taints me as a person, and I don't want to die full of wrath. 

In truth, I pity those who hate without any reasons at all. Or should I say pointless hatred. Seriously. I've opened up my mind and felt nothing but disgust to myself when I too became such. 

All I want right now is a sound mind. Love and be loved. Happiness and enjoy every little thing God offers me. 

Challenged. Then so be it.
Hardship. I can go through it all. 

I don't want to waste all those efforts my baby, my family and my friends did to me. They've given me their full support. And I want to thank them back.

And the only way to do that is also to believe in myself I can do it, as much as how they trust in me.

Atashi mo gambarimasu!! ♥

Starting Anew. Rhima~ The Lost Tiger

"Think positively to attract positive things."

We learn through our past mistakes. Do I really know what that means?

Right now, I'm willing to acknowledge all my wrong doings and start anew. Somehow like one MAJOR CHANGE in my way of thinking. These past few years, I've been stupidly letting people step me, do as they please to me, and silently taking all that pain inside me. My friends keep on scolding me how "martyr" I am, and before, I would just be a sissy and laugh about it, letting things be. My baby tries to cheer me up too, he would always say, "You should fight back, no matter what, because you have me beside you". And gratefully, up till now, he says the same thing and keeps his swear to be always beside me. That I would thank you so very much.

3 years ago I have my own wounded pasts (and I still carry it with me, to serve as lesson for me) but I never let it bring me down that much before. During my high school days, I smile whole-heartedly in spite of everything. hardships come, but I greet them with smile. Suicidal, but often smiling. Again, another wrong doing. Nevertheless, at least I had a strong personality that binded me with my friends. That attracted them to me.

But over the years, I may have stopped being a suicidal, but it seems I became someone worst. A sissy, A coward. Self-sacrificing. It felt like I turned into someone I don't know. This was never me. The "martyr-introvert-whatever-hell-comes-IDC type".

College came and before I knew it, I lost myself. I lost "me". Different personalities stepping in out of nowhere. Betrayals, Lies, Love, Happiness and overwhelming experiences. Without any warnings I ended up putting a barrier between people. Only few have I opened myself. I turn myself into an anti-social and became an introvert, crybaby, possessive, and PARANOID.

It was hell to me. Who I though my closest turned me down. Who I thought my real friends despise me. Trusted people betrayed me. One important person left me. Leaving me alone and in despair. And one way or another, I was blinded with my foolishness and never saw those people who really cares for me.

Then they came. My baby, Rey Niel Morales, came back to me, loving me as much as I love him. Old friends who I thought forgot me, now are my best buddies. With frequent scoldings and show of loyalty, faith, trust, affection and support from these people. I realized slowly that I should have put my happiness on top of everything. In due time, I learn to love myself more than before. And little by little I open yet again my heart.

Took time and years pass, new friends came along too. Unhurriedly, my cheerful side came back. I learn to love and trust again, and those people return their friendship and love to me.These same people supported me along the way.

Along the way, I came into thinking:

"Why the hell would I care about people who wants to stop me from being happy because of their own selfishness?"

"Why would I care so much about the people who isn't willing to care enough for me in the first place?"

"Why would I bathe myself in hatred, when I have a lot of reason to love?"

"Why would I cry over people who isn't worth it now?"

"Why would I cry, when I have more reasons to laugh?"

And I realized I've come this far, why would I let anyone hinder me from attaining what God have offered me.

This was a long journey, indeed. Grateful, I'm gradually taking a good path for myself. I've come to my senses. Life is too short not to enjoy the fullest of it, said one of my dear friends. And she's right.

From this day on, as I mature bit by bit, I would love myself more, love the right people, care for those who are worthy and trust those only who earned it. I would never start a fight, but if I am challenged, I won't back out.

I may be cheerful, laid-back, (still a crybaby and worrywart) lady BUT don't judge me. For I might have claws already sharpened. Ready to take you on when God gives me the signal to.

Because right now, I am fueled up with courage to fight for my happiness and what is rightfully mine. 

NO ONE deserves to hurt me or anyone I love in particular!

I have always been protected and loved by these people. Now it's my turn to show them how thankful I am and how I've changed for the better.

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